I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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