do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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