I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
cat food counts as protein by the way
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
