Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
