ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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