I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
