Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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