Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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