I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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