Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
