My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
sex in a hospital.. check
So much Jack, so little girl.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
