She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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