shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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