would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
