I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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