My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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