ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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