i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
