i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
