i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
