I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
