Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
