You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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