TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
