i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
