I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
