i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
