is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
