i just wanna soil my oats bro
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
