wat bout pragnant strippers??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
pray to the hookup gods
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
