She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
