My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
