People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Found the puke drawer
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize