I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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