I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
