just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
