Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize