I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
