Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
