My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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