She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
