Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
