I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We left the knife in your bed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize