If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
