Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
