There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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