I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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