We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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