a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
