this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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