It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
