remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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