So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
