i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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