I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
