there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
