You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
