im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
