I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
