Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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